


our demons aren't that different after all

by zelophobia (agateophobia)



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Grocery Shopping, Observant Sam Winchester, Poor Dean Winchester, Poor Jack Kline, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, cas really isn't in this fic, not that happy but better than the start, this isn't that happy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-21
Updated: 2019-04-21
Packaged: 2020-01-23 05:17:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,302
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18543049
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/agateophobia/pseuds/zelophobia
Summary: Jack is scared of Dean but comes to realise that maybe the two of them aren't so different. Set in some vague and unimportant point in the show.





	our demons aren't that different after all

**Author's Note:**

> so I wrote and posted this in one sitting bcs why not (also jack needs to be protected at all costs)

Castiel and Sam had gone out to get groceries and Dean was too tired to go with them so Jack was stuck with Dean in this old motel.

Jack had managed to convince Dean to let him watch the TV and after twenty minutes of watching it, Jack noticed that Dean had not left the bathroom.

 _What is he doing?_ Jack thought. He turned down the volume on the TV and listened to see if he could hear Dean. There was a smash and Jack jumped. He turned off the TV and opened the bathroom- or at least tried to; it was locked.

Jack shook the doorknob until it opened and he saw Dean sitting on the edge of the bathtub with a sombre expression etched onto his face. The mirror was shattered all over the floor.

Normally Dean frightened him, but seeing him so broken and vulnerable was enough for Jack to not be so scared. He took a seat next to Dean.

“Are… are you okay?” Jack asked. It was clear that Dean was _not_ okay but he didn’t know how else to open up this weird conversation.

“Yeah I’m fine, kid.” Dean’s voice broke of unshed tears and he looked away in shame.

“Is there anything I can do?” Jack asked.

“…stay away from me…”

Jack had to look away too. He was already close to Sam and Castiel but it was times like these where getting close to Dean was very hard; he kept pushing himself away.

“Wh-why do I have to stay away from you?”

“Because I-I hurt people, I hurt the people that need me and the people that I love,” Dean poured out. “I’m a danger to everyone I meet. Including you.”

“S-so am I. Everyone is scared of me or wants me dead or hates me. I don’t blame them. I am scared o-of myself and h-hate myself. Sometimes I-I think it’s better if I-I’m dead.”

Dean looked up at Jack. This spawn of Satan who reminded him of everyone that he’s lost that was sitting next to him. He could see his pathetic self in Jack.

“…do you look in a mirror and hate what you see?” Dean asked. At this, Jack looked up at Dean.

“Y-yes. Yeah, I do,” Jack said. “Do you?”

Dean picked up a shattered piece of the mirror and studied himself in it. Horrible thoughts flooded in his head about himself, thoughts that he was never going to tell a soul. So instead, Dean chucked the piece at the wall and it shattered into tiny shards. It answered his question well.

Jack picked up a piece and looked at himself in the mirror. He sighed.

“I’m not that good at rage, like you are,” Jack muttered. He rested the shard on his hand, feeling how sharp the edge was. “I’m better at this.” He pressed the piece into his skin and dragged it, causing blood to immerged from the wound. He hated pain but this pain felt kind of good. Dean picked up another piece and examined it as he sliced his own hand.

There was silence. Dean dropped the piece of mirror and stared at the cut on his hand. Jack followed in pursuit. Silence stretched over them and their unspoken rage simmered down.

Dean blinked and realised that he was falling back into his old self-harm habits. He didn’t want Jack to do the same so he stood up.

“Come on kid, let’s get you cleaned up. Sam would yell at me if I knew I was doing this again.”

Jack got up and the two washed their hands. Dean gave Jack a dustpan to clean up the shattered mirror and looked around for the first aid kit. When Jack was finished and dumped everything into the bin, Dean gestured for him to sit on the bed. Jack held his hand out as Dean cleaned the wound with disinfectant before wrapping it in a bandage. He did the same with his own hand.

“What were you watching before… y’know?” Dean asked. Jack turned on the TV, showing Dean that it wasn’t really interesting. They still watched the program regardless.

-

Sam opened the motel door and saw that Dean and Jack were both watching TV together. The two seemed to be content in each other’s presence. That made Sam smile until he spotted the matching bandages on their hands.

“Hey Cas, Sam,” Dean said, standing up. Jack’s eyes were still glued to the screen. “You got any pie?”

“No. The store ran out of pie. I asked,” Castiel said.

Dean pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed but sat back down next to Jack. Their easiness with each other was questionably good which meant something must have happened while Castiel and Sam were gone.

Regardless, Sam went to the bathroom to wash his hands where he saw that the mirror was smashed. Dean probably.

“Where is the mirror?” Sam asked.

“I dunno,” Dean responded. “It was like that when we got there.”

Sam clearly remembered yesterday that the mirror was intact. He washed his hands and went out to help Castiel sort out the groceries. The bin next to sink shined and Sam noticed all the shards of mirror that rested there.

“Found your mirror, Dean. In the bin.”

Dean shrugged. “Sue me for cleaning up after this crappy place.”

Jack looked a little guilty but continued watching the TV. Sam realised that there were small blood stains on the pieces of mirror. Sam was suspicious.  

He would confront Dean about that later though, right now it was time for dinner.

 

Jack finished eating and moved over to watch the TV better. Sam sat next to him.

“What did you two do together?” Sam asked. Jack didn’t know what to say.

“We watched TV together,” he said.

Jack could feel Sam glaring at the bandage on his hand but he ignored him.

“And how did you guys hurt your hand?”

Jack swallowed. “Uh, we were cleaning up the mirror and it cut us.” That lie seemed believable enough.

Sam nodded. “Do you know how it shattered?”

“…It broke…”

“Yeah, I figured that much. Do you know how it _broke_?”

Jack glanced over at Dean, who was staring at Castiel. “Dean told me not to tell you.”

“It’s okay, you can tell me. And if Dean finds out, he won’t be mad at you, just at me,” Sam said. “I’ll make sure of it.”

“…Dean broke it. He t-told me that he hated wh-what he saw in the mirror. I told him th-” Jack cut himself off. It didn’t seem that important to tell Sam that he also hated himself.

Sam sighed. “I know. Rarely he’d confide in me but I’ve known him for my whole life, I know what Dean goes through. What were you going to say?”

“N-nothing.”

Sam put his hand on Jack. He wanted to shrug it off but that would be even more suspicious. It did feel kind of nice though.

“I’m not going to judge you, Jack,” Sam promised. Jack frowned but opened his mouth anyways.

"I told Dean that I also hate myself. I’m sorry for hating myself but I can’t help it. I’m not worth… never mind.”

Jack peeled back the bandage to reveal the scar but it disappeared.

“It healed but we both cut ourselves on the mirror… i-intentionally. Don’t yell at him, please.”

Sam told Jack to throw out the bandage but Jack refused.

“A reminder that Dean and I aren’t that different from each other, even though he still hates me,” he explained. Jack reapplied the bandage and focused his attention on the TV.

“I don’t think Dean hates you.” Sam focused on the TV too. Jack glanced over at Dean and smiled. Maybe he didn’t.


End file.
